Time Played: 2 hours

Last played: 6/15/2016

Alien Vs Predator Classic 2000: “Classic”

I honestly have no idea how this game was well received when it was originally released in 1999. Moreover, I have no idea how it was positively received when it was re-released in 2010.

This game is awful.

I have nothing positive to say about it. If you like Alien Vs Predator Classic 2000, I am sorry. You can take that however you choose.
The level design in this game is horrid; lacking in any indication of where you are supposed to go. Much like FPS games from the 90’s, it requires trial and error in order to figure out it’s maze like layout. Theseus himself would have a hard time finding his way through these maps. It’s funny because he went through the Labyrinth. It also doesn’t help that your character moves at about a third the speed of light, causing all sorts of disorientation when moving. Playing this game is not unlike being a Tiger Beetle — an insect that runs so fast it blinds itself.

Moment to moment gameplay is broken up into disorienting movement, and stopping to figure out your surroundings — Oh and you shoot stuff sometimes as well. But, if you die… Which you will, of that there is no doubt; there are no checkpoints. Have fun fumbling through the level, bumping into an insta-gib fire-wall, and having to start over!

Adding to the bad levels and silly movement speed, the game also has swimmy controls and stupidly high look sensitivity. Which of course you can adjust, but it hardly helps. I turned it down from the default to almost one fourth… All it did was make my turning speed slower. Moving around was still a disorienting mess, and aiming a clumsy ordeal in motor control.

I’ve spent two hours with this game over six whole years. I’ve never tried to play a game three times and give up — each time. Apparently I can only stomach AVP for about forty minutes before deeming it unworthy of my attention. Over my (short) time playing AVP there were many moments when I would blunder into an enemy, try to shoot them to death, and find myself face up on the floor within a few seconds. The enemies never miss. Meanwhile, I’m standing there having vital tissue replaced with hot lead while I can’t hit the broadside of a barn because the overly sensitive aiming causes me to have to overcompensate; continuously fighting to have the reticle find their body while it dances to and fro from their left and right

Also even on the easiest difficulty of the game you’re character has no fortitude what so ever and is killed by an errant breeze.

Plus if you play as the marine, good luck hitting any of the Xenomorphs without them taking half of your HP with them. They move so fast, and the game is so dark, that it’s almost impossible to shoot them without placing the barrel of the gun directly on their carapace. Oh, also their blood burns you; so standing next to them is a bad idea.

I might be being overly snarky, but it’s the only thing that keeps me interested in writing about this game.

In all seriousness. This game is not good. Even if you play it with the time period in mind it’s not good. Goldeneye, on the Nintendo 64, came out two years before this game and is leaps and bounds better.*

I bought this game because it was released at the same time as the 2010 reboot: Aliens Vs Predator™, and I was really excited to play that. Unfortunately it is also a terrible game, but for different reasons.

Alien Vs Predator Classic 2000 is probably the most disappointing $4.99 I spent on Steam.
Also it didn’t even come out in 2000, like, what’s up with that Rebellion?

I’ve heard nothing but great things about Aliens Vs Predator 2, the Monolith developed sequel. So I assumed that this one would also be good, right? Turns out quality by association isn’t a thing.

Save yourself, don’t buy this mess. Or the 2010 reboot.

If you really need an Aliens vs Predator game for some reason…Go find a copy of the sequel, Aliens Versus Predator 2.

*This message brought to you by Nostalgia™

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